I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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