3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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