it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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