Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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