you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize