FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize