Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize