I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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