so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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