If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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