the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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