He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize