There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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