everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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