why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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