If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize