I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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