that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize