I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize