i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
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