So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
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Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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