chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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