I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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