my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize