Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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