Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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