dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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