I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize