Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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