I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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