He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize