Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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