Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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