so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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