Welp...herpes.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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