You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize