I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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