i just google imaged poop.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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