i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
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I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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