My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize