And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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