Umm I'm too high to move.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize