Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize