Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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