I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just had sex bonerless
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
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I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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