Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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