He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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