I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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