the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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