I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
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just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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